When I met you, I was getting over someone. Someone who was great at first and whom I had given my heart to and she had stomped all over it. I didn't know how or why it ended so abruptly. I was hurt and was working on getting over @her; I was working on getting past the need to find answers when someone just pushes you aside as if you were disposable.
But when I saw you, I wanted you. I didn't wanted you to be my girlfriend, I knew I couldn't offer you anything, I was empty and you were ending your relationship, I knew better than to get involved with someone I couldn't give or receive anything and for the first time, I had no expectations.
You # can # hide my thinking but can you stop @me from doing the #same#
But time went by and I never said what I had rehearsed in my head over and over again, I never uttered the words, let's end this before it's too late and someone gets hurt...
I have never been happier to have kept # quiet.#
You *never * realised the *pain* I gone through #without# your love
You *bounce * up my *heart*
It is you every single day. Since I met you. When I would watch you play tennis between mine two-a-day football practices that summer sophomore year. When I and my brother took our uncles truck to take your sister and you to the movies. When I called you every single day and told you I was going to marry you and be with you every second and not a second less. When we were in chemistry and I would play with your hand under the table then stop- just holding it. When I would write the answers to our tests under your skirt and draw pictures in your chem notebook. When I picked you up and held you and set you down on top of my car.
Every single moment I was in love with you.
And I remember sitting on the tennis courts, with all my friends around me, thinking only of you.
You changed everything.
When you hugged me under my football bleachers that's the first time I ever felt the world spin around me. I understood, you were the center of my world. Everything would always spin around you. The only place I would ever fit was in your arms.
And now, 1445 days later, I haven't got too far. I tried to leave and I came right back. And I tried to find new girls but they could barely keep my eyes open. And I tried to figure you out so we could live this fairytale. And you just spent the night in my arms and you didn't even try to kiss me. You woke up and I were squeezing you so tight you thought I was never going to let you go. And I closed my eyes and tried to do just that, freeze that moment; just keep you in my arms for the rest of my life.
I don't think we would even know how to be together but I know that every single moment- every time I have felt your arms around me, that is what I want to keep forever.
I love you with every single inch of me. I love you with every single moment I have. I love you because before I even know what love was, you counted backwards to 14 and told me that was your favorite number, because that was the day you met me.
I'm in love with you and I don't even know what to do with it.
I'm in love with you because your shit's all messed up, and so is mine.
I still remember that night as if it were last night.The first night you saw me undress while I changed into my pyjamas. The first night I slipped under the covers with you. The first night we were spending the night together. The room was so dark, it was almost pitch black - save the sliver of moonlight that danced through the sheer curtains.
We were in New York City - the city that never sleeps. And girl, was I not sleeping.You didn't know it at that time, but I was so nervous. You weren't the first girl I've shared a bed with but for some reason, I felt like my heart was about to leap out of my chest. In one smooth motion, I took you into my arms. You gazed up at me as I anxiously looked down at you.
I'm not ready yet...don't make me push you away.I put mine hand on your heart. I caught Your breathe and held it for what seemed like an eternity. And then I leaned down and kissed you softly and just held you for the whole night.
I wasn't even sure if I loved you yet. But at that moment, I knew you were different. You weren't like the other girls didn't rush me or make me feel bad for pulling you. You were patient.
Patiently waited for me until I was ready. Ready in every way to have you in my life.
I'm obsessed with you, I think about you constantly.
I have loved you since kindergarten and often I can't believe you're really mine.
Sometimes I forgot how amazingly hot you are until you walk through the front door, I've never been so attracted to anyone in my life.
I love the rereading the box full of letters you wrote me while we lived apart.
I love the way you make me feel amazing about myself.
You have such a cute butt.
I love that you make me laugh every day, and often so hard I cry.
I loved when you were so excited to find out we were having a baby, when I was totally freaked out.
I love when we fall asleep holding hands.
I adore how romantic you are.
I love the way we share almost every meal.
You are my favorite person.
I loved that summer after high school before we moved to different places, spending every waking minute together.
I even love that we can argue and fight, and then how we can make up...usually very quickly.
I love how you wouldn't complain when I slept from 6pm to 8am when you was pregnant.
I loved going to Senior Prom with you.
I loved that you followed me to NYC.
I love it when we snuggle every morning.
I love how excited you are to get me to bed...
I love how I can hear you smile in the dark.
You are the only one I ever wanted to be with.
You are my perfect other half, you make me the happiest I've ever been.
I want to take care of each other forever.
Love is too weak a word for what I feel -- I lurve you, you know, I loave you, I loff you, two F's
I loff you ,
I actually think I love you, but I never thought I could fall in love.
I don't know why I think I love you, no theories. I only have things that, together, might be called proof.
I care twice as much as your opinion than everyone else's. If I get just one text from you (even if I almost never do) it completely makes my day. You remember than one time when I was just so tired and sad and you just holding me for half a minute changed everything? That's how it is.
I don't ever feel like actually flirting with people, because I never find anyone I like anymore. It's not that you set the bar too high, it's more that you created a specifically shaped hole in my heart and the only person fitting into that hole is you.
It's not that I find you perfect, I see all your imperfections. It's just that I don't see anyone else who could mean half as much to me.
I know we said we'd keep it a secret to all our friends, and at first we said we'd just fool around whenever we felt like it. But with all our ups and downs, our break ups and our make ups, I don't think that's what we have.
I keep telling myself that if I were actually in love with you, I'd be jealous over you being with other people. I never get jealous. Did I tell you why? To get jealous, I must first convince myself I'm worthy of even having you.
I'm wondering if I should tell you, because being unhappily in love with someone you're in a sort of relationship with sucks. But I won't, because I think you want it just as casual as this, and telling you would put too much pressure on you.
That's why you make me hate myself. I can never be good enough for you.
I don't mind being called desperate and embarrassing and pathetic, the ex who couldn't move on, the ex who continued hoping. I was once yours and there have never been any secrets kept between us. You knew very well how not so good I am with keeping to myself whatever I feel.
It's not just because our "should-have-been-3rd-anniversary's" coming. Every single day since day one when we ended our love affair, I've been battling the familiar emptiness that I haven't felt for quite a long time. I was so used to having you around that even when we are not physically together, I am at peace knowing that you're just at the other end, waiting to be needed.
But things became totally different since that unfortunate day. I slept at night wondering if you ever thought of me too while you laid down on your mattress. If you ever missed the warmth we shared when we are right next to each other, hands intertwined in the dark. If you ever regretted giving me up, the first and only guy that you loved with your whole life.
Yet there's no way to know how you feel and think. I couldn't just make you say things that I want to hear.
Do you know it breaks my heart seeing you doing just fine while I bled and hurt inside? To realize that I'm the only one suffering and being haunted by memories and being lulled by tears to sleep at night. You probably don't even know how pathetic I think of myself every time I make and then break my own rules and self-imposed limitations. I try not to talk to you, not to smile at you, not to even look at you and I always end up swallowing my own crap.
Everybody's telling me to just move on and forget about you. That's like a stab in the flesh, through and through. They don't understand how hard it is for me. That moving on are not just words but actions needing a lot of energy to expend on.
Yes, it's almost been a year and look, here I am, still wallowing on misery. They say a person's just supposed to feel pain for 5 minutes. At the rate of how I'm doing, the pain's too tremendous that I couldn't just get over it. I just can't.
I don't know if I miss you or I love or I need you. Cos even if I figure that one out I'd be in deep shit anyway. So I think it's better that I think of you this way so things can get back to the way they were when you weren't part of the big picture.
There's one thing I know for sure though. I'm still finding that one person who wouldn't leave my life just when I need her the most.
A note which I hope rests in your <3 arms...
First -- if you are in love -- that's a good thing -- that's about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don't let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second -- There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you -- of kindness and consideration and respect -- not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn't know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply -- of course it isn't puppy love.
But I don't think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it -- and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone -- there is no possible harm in saying so -- only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Guys have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another -- but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I'm glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet love.
And don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens -- The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
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Since day one, we clicked. It was you and me against everyone.
You and me who got along better than anybody, you and me, always.
I always remind myself true love is out there. I just have to wait for the right time for my time to come. One year after another and yet, I still haven't found anyone. I'm turning 20 soon and sometimes I think it is really a joke. All my friends around me have been in a relationship or even in a relationship now. Often I think I'm the weird one cause I have never have a girlfriend. I always compared myself with my friends and I will end up crying cause no matter in which aspect, they are always better than me. I'm slightly overweight and I think that is why no girlss like me. If they really know me well, they will realized I'm actually a very caring, loving and down to earth person.
All I ever want is just a chance to be loved and is that very much to ask for? I hate being the odd one every time I'm out with my friends. Being an Asian, relatives do question me a lot when I'm single and the stress and pressure they are giving is killing me softly. All I want to say is, overweight guyss deserves the equal chance as the skinny guyls to be loved and loved others as well too.
that if your lips,which i have loved,should touch
another's,and your dear strong fingers clutch
his heart,as mine in time not far away;
if on another's face your sweet hair lay
in such a silence as i know,or such
great writhing words as,uttering overmuch,
stand helplessly before the spirit at bay;
if this should be,i say if this should be-
you of my heart, send me a little word;
that i may go unto him, and take his hands,
saying, Accept all happiness from me.
Then shall i turn my face, and hear one bird
sing terribly afar in the lost lands.