17th February.2013 late night around 12:15...I waz warm and cosy in my bed ready to sleep when suddenly my phone vibrated...I waz shocked to see that who would call me at this time...I half opened my eyez and saw it waz "HIM"...I waz thunderstruck to see his call...after 12 dayz he contacted me...yes "12 DAYZ"...can you imagine diary...?? At one point of time...he waz the same guy who couldn't even spend a day without conversing with me...the same guy who used to talk to for hourz tirelessly...the same guy who said that I am his foremost priority and will alwayz be...!! ♥I don't know what happened suddenly...why this gap arised between us...between our relationship...we had no fightz...no argumentz...no tauntz...nothing at all...we were happy as alwayz then why this gap...?? Itz not that I didn't tried to contact her...I contacted her many timez but everytime she ignored my call n didn't reply to any message of mine...YES...I WAZ HURT...she hurt me...her ignorance hurt me a lot...it killed me from within...I used to cry but when I saw that she doesn't even bother to know if I am alive or not then I also changed me behaviour...coz everything has a limit and his ignorance crossed my patience limit now...!! ♥I decided to stay happy even if itz without her...it waz very difficult in the beginning...whole day long all I could think waz "HER"..."ONLY HER"...her thoughtz surrounded me but I controlled myself somehow and didn't contact him...and you know what diary...?? It worked...yes it did work...after a week I GOT USED TO HER IGNORANCE...now I stopped waiting for her call...I just diverted my attention to other thingz...and day by day I started getting better and better...now after 12 dayz she is contacting me...while thousandz of thingz were flooded in my mind...I just picked her call normally and said "HELLO"...!! ♥She called me up for some work...I helped her out and waz just about to cut the call when she suddenly said "Hey stop...you don't wanna talk...?? You sound so changed...!!" I replied "I want to talk but not now as I am a bit sleepy and I have other prioritiez in my busy life just like you have...!!" She waz a bit shocked hearing my reply...may be she felt guilty...she apologised...I forgave her asalwayz but I don't think I will be ever the same as I waz before"COZ ITZ NOT THAT I DON'T GET HURT NOW...ITZ JUST THAT I AM WAY TOO USED TO IT NOW" ♥
A year back...24th February.2012 around 5 p.m. I waz with my college buddiez enjoying our college fest...we were at the "FLOWER SHOW" and were enjoying the beauty and serenity of nature...the dew...the freshness...the charisma that those pretty flowerz had waz just out of the world...while I waz enjoying the flower show I saw a girl noticing me...somehow even I noticed her...she looked sweet...that waz for the first time we had an eye contact...!! ♥She smiled...I smiled back...there waz a calmness and innocence in his eyez and on his face...I could feel that...as they say whenever you have to judge someone'z personality just notice his/her eyez...you will come to know exactly what sort of intensionz the person has got...after 3-4 timez of eye contact and smile exchange I finally approached me...my friendz obviously started teasing me...although I didn't liked her in that sense but I just felt like talking to her once coz our heart is the best judge to choose our friendz n my heart clearly said that she should be my friend...!! ♥We had a talk...we both introduced ourselvez and I got to know she waz from my college itself...we exchanged numberz and started whatz apping...day by day...week by week...our friendship grew and after a few monthz I started to count her in my college best buddiez...yesterday we officially completed 1 year of our friendship...this whole journey from being stranger to best friend is just fantastic...seemz so strange that someone whom I didn't even knew a year back is presently one of the most special personz in my life...!! ♥Often in life we face such situationz where we interact for the first time with someone totally unknown and trust me...one meeting...one eye contact...one long and healthy conversation is enough to judge a round about personality of a person...itz enough to judge that would we like to meet the person again or not...in my case I am actually glad that I gave a chance to "HIM"...that I gave "A FRESH START" to him and our friendship...so all I want to say is come out of the shell...converse and interact with new people...try and make new friendz...cozLIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE YOUR TIME BEING ALONE...!! ♥
I M Sorry Of Being So Emotional
I M Sorry Of Being So Possessive
I M Sorry That I Cry For You
I M Sorry Because I Cant Live
Without You
I M Sorry For The Tears You Shed
I M Sorry For The Damage I Made
I I M Sorry For Each And Every
Fight
I M Sorry For The Missing Harmony
I M Sorry For My Selfish Love
I M Sorry For Not Caring Enough
I M Sorry For My Restlessness
I M Sorry For The Losing Grace I M
Sorry For Thinking Of You So Very
Much
I M Sorry I Always Miss Your Touch
I M Sorry Of Being So Mad About
You
I M Sorry For My Every Blue
I M Sorry Now That Cant Be Cured
I M Sorry Of Being Myself I M
Sorry That I have Failed
I M Sorry And Sorry Again
I M Sorry Of Being Insane
But Believe Me That I Love You
Should I Say Sorry For That
Too ??? :(
Itz silence n I am in my room….all alone….tick tock tick tock…I see the clock striking 1 a.m. Suddenly tearz rolled down my eyez when I recalled what she said a while ago….she asked me to choose between her n my best friend….how could she…how could she expect me to make this choice….!!!
I know my best friend from the past 7 yearz….almost double the time since I have known her….she waz alwayz with me in my upz n downz…even in situationz in which she left me alone…my best friend waz alwayz there to support me….infact it waz none other than my best friend herself who gave me the suggestion to try going into a relationship with her….we have partied together….laughed together….cried together….we have had so much gossipz…crazy talkz….lively momentz which I can never ever forget….then how can he expect me to forget all this n put a full stop on my friendship with my best friend….??
Very easily she sayz she will breakup if I didn’t leave my best friend…what should I do…?? If I choose “her”….I will loose my best friend which I can’t afford to do so at any possible cost….n if I choose my “best friend”….I will have to loose her…shez my love….I can’t afford to loose her either…ohh God….why me….?? why I have to choose….?? This choice is nothing but a one sided game in which whatever I do….whom so ever I choose….I will loose no matter what….!!!
Often in life we get situationz in which we need to make deadly chiocez….choicez which make us loose….mentality n emotionally….but at the end we have to choose n even I made my choice….I chose my “BEST FRIEND”….yes u heard it right….my best friend….coz u know when I told this dilemma of mine to her…she simply smiled n waz ready to give up our friendship saying that she just wantz my hapiness whether itz with her or without her….I realized at that moment who really lovez me…my girl-friend wazn’t even bothered that how much emotionally disturbed I waz due to her n on the other hand my best friend waz supporting me asalwayz….I made my CHOICE….n now after monthz I feel proud on my decision….yes….I made the right choice….!!! ♥
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Meet me under the moon tonight
Take me to a place where it's just me and you
Not even a soul can find usHold my hand
Keep it warm
Look into my eyes
Let them shineRemind me of the love we had
So deep we were inseparable
So great not even hell could break us Make me laugh
Like I used to when I never stopped
Make me smile
The smile that glittered on my faceHelp me remember the love we had
As we sit under the stars
Tell me the story'sHold me in your arms
Keep me close
Protect me from everything
Like your life depends on itShow me everything
Remind me of the love
That connection that wouldn't breakSing me to sleep
Make my nightmares into dreams
Kiss me on the cheek
Make me feel lovedHelp me remember
The happiness that we had
That made us inseparableHold me like I'm your little child
Never let me go
Let me sleep in your arms
As you protect me with your lifeOn this night
With you by my side
Please remind me of the love we once had
I only miss you A little you could say
A little too much
A little too often and
A little more Everyday
When they told me you were gone
It was all I could do to keep trying to hold on
Without you there to catch me, it was too hard
I let go and fell, and it tore me apart
These hands you used to hold
Have been getting very cold
Without you here to protect me
I’m all alone.
When Two Hearts Are
Meant To Be Together..
No Matter How Long It Takes
No Matter How Far They Go
No Matter How Tough It Seems
Love Will Bring Them Together
To Share a Life Forever..!!!
I MISS YOU !!!
I miss you with my mind
that loves to think about you
and with my lips that love to kiss you,
with my eyes that love to look at you,
with my ears that love to hear your laugh
and with my hands that loves to hold you close. ♥
Some relationz in life are special….extremely special….some relationz in life are just meant to be….some relationz in life are just uncommendably beautiful….my relation with her is also somewhat similar….shez not my
girl-friend….nor she is just a best friend….shez more than best friend n less than my girl-friend….!!
We know eachother from the past 7 yearz….I still remember the first time we met….I didn’t liked her much at that time n couldn’t think even in my wildest dreamz that she could ever be so damn special for me….but who knew what waz in take for me next….now she is my closest buddy….my life….people think we are in love…..well yes…!!! We are in love….but it isn’t necessary that if a guy n a girl love eachother they have to go in a relationship on the spot….where is it written….?? Sometimez my friendz ask that why u both don’t into a relationship officially….?? They say that we hangout together….we are alwayz with eachother….we can’t survive without eachother….basically we love eachother….the world knowz….then why can’t we go in an official relationship….?? Whatz the big deal…??
Well it is actually a very big deal…atleast for me it is…I just smiled n said that I am a “one man girl”….I can’t just step into a relationship like that…if I will go into a relation it will be forever….so I need time to realize if she is actually my miss. right….?? Is she the one for whom I can do anything…?? Is she my unconditional love…?? And the same goez for her as well….even she needz to realize if i am her shona with whom she can spend her entire life….we both are waiting to realize if we both are actually in love….if we both are actually prepared to be in a relationship….If we both are mentally prepared to face the complicationz….the upz n downz together…so till then we won’t go in a relation….!!!
We have got atleast 60 yearz of our life more to live with our life partner ofcourse….so atleast a few yearz time is justified enough to judge our life partner…right….?? How can someone spend his whole remaining life with someone u don’t even know properly…choosing our life partner is definitely one of the most crucial decision n one must take it properly….there is no scope of a wrong decision or regret in future….we don’t want to blame eachother in future for our wrong decision….thatz why we both aren’t in a relationship…we both are simply waiting to see if we are compatible enough….if we are made for eachother….if we both are actually eachotherz soulmatez…..the day we both find the answer to be “YES”….we will declare our relationship officially….so till than hez my“MORE THAN FRIEND N LESS THAN LOVER” n I am proud of it…..!!! ♥
I met Her several times before i really "met " her..
Something about her,even un tied hairs just spoke to me.
We fight ..sometimes she makes me angry and at other times I make Her mad
BUT
at the end of the day..We would ALWAYS come home to eachother..no matter how big or small the fight is..
We have had our own share of difficulties ,misunderstandings , insecurities and all ..
We don't always do the best job of communicating with each other but trust me i can't imagine my life with anyone else..
I never thought that She would become "home" for me..but she did..
All i need after a long tiring day is her telling me that its okay..that it'll all be better tomorrow :)..-believe me..she does make me feel like tomorrow would be a better day..and that it would be easier..
We don't have a huge house..or we don't get to see each other as often as we like.but we have each other...and that s enough for now..
just knowing that she is near..is enough..
2 years and 11 months--Time really does fly ..and in all this time,not once have i regretted anything..
all this time..my love for her has only grown ♥..
I am waiting for the day when i wouldn't have to wait to see her,the day when i would be with her..celebrating everyday of togetherness :)
______________________________
Love doesn't mean seeing eachother everyday.
Love means being with eachother when he/ she needs you.
Love isn't about gifts, chocolates or your bank balance.
Love can be as simple as just holding hands and sitting in some park enjoying the silence.
Love doesn't always have to be about kisses ..
Love can be you and him talking like two best friends, pouring your hearts out.
Love doesnt have to be the way it is glorified in books and movies. Love is far from all of it.
Its about spending your life with the person who means the most to you..
" I could take back those moments that snatched you away from me or maybe just wipe away those when you came to me for the first time and I looked into your eyes to realise what love is. "
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Something about her,even un tied hairs just spoke to me.
We fight ..sometimes she makes me angry and at other times I make Her mad
BUT
at the end of the day..We would ALWAYS come home to eachother..no matter how big or small the fight is..
We have had our own share of difficulties ,misunderstandings , insecurities and all ..
We don't always do the best job of communicating with each other but trust me i can't imagine my life with anyone else..
I never thought that She would become "home" for me..but she did..
All i need after a long tiring day is her telling me that its okay..that it'll all be better tomorrow :)..-believe me..she does make me feel like tomorrow would be a better day..and that it would be easier..
We don't have a huge house..or we don't get to see each other as often as we like.but we have each other...and that s enough for now..
just knowing that she is near..is enough..
2 years and 11 months--Time really does fly ..and in all this time,not once have i regretted anything..
all this time..my love for her has only grown ♥..
I am waiting for the day when i wouldn't have to wait to see her,the day when i would be with her..celebrating everyday of togetherness :)
______________________________
Love doesn't mean seeing eachother everyday.
Love means being with eachother when he/ she needs you.
Love isn't about gifts, chocolates or your bank balance.
Love can be as simple as just holding hands and sitting in some park enjoying the silence.
Love doesn't always have to be about kisses ..
Love can be you and him talking like two best friends, pouring your hearts out.
Love doesnt have to be the way it is glorified in books and movies. Love is far from all of it.
Its about spending your life with the person who means the most to you..
" I could take back those moments that snatched you away from me or maybe just wipe away those when you came to me for the first time and I looked into your eyes to realise what love is. "
Its going to be exactly 2years since we entered into a long distance because I had to leave.
How did we manage,people ask.
Jealousy.
insecurity.
Possessiveness.
Fights.
Tears.
-Yes, we have been through all of it.
Jealousy when she would not have time for me but I would find her talking to others.
Insecurity when I would talk to her about my new friends (particularly girls).
Possessiveness when I would notice her talking to some other guy whom I didn't know.
Fights because both of us would be frustrated because of the distance.
Tears coz the fights would have the better of us and would leave us broken..
Tears of missing!
_____________________________
Initially we couldn't really cope with the distance because we were the kind who would meet everyday! The days seemed incomplete without her and I found it difficult to accept that I just couldn't see her.not even for a second.
That I couldn't feel her.
But let me tell you, you get used to it,once you accept it.
I stayed , when She told me to leave.
She gave me the strength when I thought I couldn't take the distance anymore.
We were there for eachother.
We had a choice.
A choice- to either take the easy way out and part ways or to be together and face things as they come.
We chose the second option coz we loved eachother too much to leave.
We could do it! We would do it!....for eachother!
Who said it was going to be easy?
They just said that the ride was gonna be worthwhile.
Today , A major part of who I am is because of her. She is been there with me when the world left.
She has held my hand each time I thought I couldn't go on.
She made me believe in myself again when I gave up.
She didn't leave when most people would have.
Then, How could we give up?..:)
Who said that you have to see eachother everyday to be in love?
We are two people perfect for eachother who just fell in love at the wrong time.
And so I ll wait for "our time". Coz even this distance can't take her away from me.
She's all I have!
It’s been two year. I mean, I guess it has. I can’t pinpoint when I fell in love with you. It wasn’t when we first started talking last 2 last summer. It wasn’t by the end of last year, I was already in a different relationship. But it happened sometime. I started to love you. I still love you. I don’t know why.
We’ve never met. I started talking to you randomly after a mass-chat ended. It was just us and we talked until like four in the morning. The next day? Same thing. It became a common occurrence. We’d talk all night, when our other friends would ask us why we weren’t on Skype with the group of people, they would know. They just stopped asking after a while.
Whenever it was we finally decided to fess up to the slow, building feelings we had both been having, it was liberating. But entrapping at the same time. Pretty soon after we ended up “together.” Even though we never wanted to call it that. 800 miles between us was enough for us to not want to be “dating.” Neither of us would want to do the long distance thing.
I went to school a month before you did. Before I left I tried to make things easier. Stop talking as much. Stop being on Skype all the time with you. But it just… Well, it worked a bit. But it saw fit to rip how I felt to shreds. I just wanted to keep on being with you, fuck talking to other people, fuck college. I just wanted to spend all the time I could talking with you.
Being at college has been a haze of things. Orientation and classes, hanging out with the new people I’ve met until late hours, smoking at night with a few people, then going to bed and restarting it all the next day. I’ve been busy and we haven’t talked a lot. Sure. I’ve called. We’ve talked some. And every time I feel the same, I don’t want to stop. I don’t care if it’s silence. You’re still there. And then I’ll finally hang up to go back to my life here.
When I hang out with people I feel like I could be happy with them. I am while I am with them. And then in the darkness before I end up falling asleep there’s some sort of guilt. Why am I bothering spending time thinking about them, when I should be thinking about you? You’re the one I love. I can’t hide those feelings. But you’re too damn far away, and you’ve not been the best one in this whole “managing some form of relationship that is long distance thing.”
You called me a week after I had been at college and said “We need to talk.” And we just talked about inconsequential things. I had homework to get to. But when I said I needed to go, you blurted out “Are we like… actually dating?” There. The point of you calling me. The way you said it let me know, you had something to tell me. But it wasn’t something I wanted to hear. It wasn’t something you wanted to tell. I answered no. You didn’t have to tell me anything.
You asked me what would happen if we found other people we had feelings for. I said if it happened to you, you just needed to tell me and I’d let you go. As if it would be that easy. I said it because if it had happened to me I’d want you to be able to be okay with it, I guess. Then you asked about hooking up with someone. That was harder. I told you it’d be okay. Because if I had hooked up with someone because we “weren’t dating” and the fact that you were 800 odd miles away, I’d still want you to love me. I value you too much.
I asked you who you had hooked up with.
You told me it was some guy at camp you hadn’t seen in years. And you didn’t even know how it happened. And you asked me if we were still okay. If I hated you.
Of course I didn’t. I had told you we weren’t dating. I had told you I’d be okay with it. But I don’t even know. As soon as you had fessed up… It fucked me up. I started spending more time with people here and not talking to you. When we talked earlier it felt good. But you talked about a party you had just gotten back from.
You told me that there were others you could go to, but you weren’t ‘cause your roommate wanted you to walk her back. So you had agreed. My fear of you hooking up with someone. Of finding someone. Of anything like that hit me like a brick. You’ve got me wrapped around your little finger. You could do anything you wanted with a guy, tell me, and I’d be a bit pissed. But I’d be held back by my love for you.
I can’t even think about these people down here that I could be with. That would be better for my to be with. I can’t think about it because it makes me think of you and how much I would hate myself for finding someone else and hurting you. I hate being the emo kid of the century, but I don’t have anything to hide from this with. I don’t have a bottle to hole up in, I don’t have anything to make me forget for a night.
So I wanted to do something to organize my thoughts. I picked this. Writing.
With love
We’ve never met. I started talking to you randomly after a mass-chat ended. It was just us and we talked until like four in the morning. The next day? Same thing. It became a common occurrence. We’d talk all night, when our other friends would ask us why we weren’t on Skype with the group of people, they would know. They just stopped asking after a while.
Whenever it was we finally decided to fess up to the slow, building feelings we had both been having, it was liberating. But entrapping at the same time. Pretty soon after we ended up “together.” Even though we never wanted to call it that. 800 miles between us was enough for us to not want to be “dating.” Neither of us would want to do the long distance thing.
I went to school a month before you did. Before I left I tried to make things easier. Stop talking as much. Stop being on Skype all the time with you. But it just… Well, it worked a bit. But it saw fit to rip how I felt to shreds. I just wanted to keep on being with you, fuck talking to other people, fuck college. I just wanted to spend all the time I could talking with you.
Being at college has been a haze of things. Orientation and classes, hanging out with the new people I’ve met until late hours, smoking at night with a few people, then going to bed and restarting it all the next day. I’ve been busy and we haven’t talked a lot. Sure. I’ve called. We’ve talked some. And every time I feel the same, I don’t want to stop. I don’t care if it’s silence. You’re still there. And then I’ll finally hang up to go back to my life here.
When I hang out with people I feel like I could be happy with them. I am while I am with them. And then in the darkness before I end up falling asleep there’s some sort of guilt. Why am I bothering spending time thinking about them, when I should be thinking about you? You’re the one I love. I can’t hide those feelings. But you’re too damn far away, and you’ve not been the best one in this whole “managing some form of relationship that is long distance thing.”
You called me a week after I had been at college and said “We need to talk.” And we just talked about inconsequential things. I had homework to get to. But when I said I needed to go, you blurted out “Are we like… actually dating?” There. The point of you calling me. The way you said it let me know, you had something to tell me. But it wasn’t something I wanted to hear. It wasn’t something you wanted to tell. I answered no. You didn’t have to tell me anything.
You asked me what would happen if we found other people we had feelings for. I said if it happened to you, you just needed to tell me and I’d let you go. As if it would be that easy. I said it because if it had happened to me I’d want you to be able to be okay with it, I guess. Then you asked about hooking up with someone. That was harder. I told you it’d be okay. Because if I had hooked up with someone because we “weren’t dating” and the fact that you were 800 odd miles away, I’d still want you to love me. I value you too much.
I asked you who you had hooked up with.
You told me it was some guy at camp you hadn’t seen in years. And you didn’t even know how it happened. And you asked me if we were still okay. If I hated you.
Of course I didn’t. I had told you we weren’t dating. I had told you I’d be okay with it. But I don’t even know. As soon as you had fessed up… It fucked me up. I started spending more time with people here and not talking to you. When we talked earlier it felt good. But you talked about a party you had just gotten back from.
You told me that there were others you could go to, but you weren’t ‘cause your roommate wanted you to walk her back. So you had agreed. My fear of you hooking up with someone. Of finding someone. Of anything like that hit me like a brick. You’ve got me wrapped around your little finger. You could do anything you wanted with a guy, tell me, and I’d be a bit pissed. But I’d be held back by my love for you.
I can’t even think about these people down here that I could be with. That would be better for my to be with. I can’t think about it because it makes me think of you and how much I would hate myself for finding someone else and hurting you. I hate being the emo kid of the century, but I don’t have anything to hide from this with. I don’t have a bottle to hole up in, I don’t have anything to make me forget for a night.
So I wanted to do something to organize my thoughts. I picked this. Writing.
With love
Everyone always wants to know how you can tell when it’s true love, and I think the answer is this: when the pain doesn't fade and the scars don’t heal, and it’s too damned late.
I loved you because you observed me as no one has, in my silence, you captured my habits, and quirks and still loved me. Last summer meant so much to me. More than you can ever imagine. And when you left I was a wreck. The letters I sent I tried to seem okay but I wasn't, I cried every night and every day I would wait for you to come back. In our time together you claimed a special place in my heart, one I’ll carry with me forever and that no one can replace. I believe that memories can have a physical almost living presence, and the times we shared are the best I've got. When I close my eyes I can see your face, when I walk it’s almost as if I can feel your hand in mine. Those things are still real to me, but where they once brought comfort, now they leave me with an ache. I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you. Every time I saw someone with a crew cut, I’d feel my heart start beating faster, I knew it wasn't you but I wanted it to be you.
I fell in love you when we were together, I fell more in love with you when we were apart. I think that is dumb of me to say because while I was falling you were being hardened, trained, and sculpted into a person that I didn’t know. But I guess if you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly but it’s still worth it.
I never planned on falling in love with you, and in a different way your family, I always thought it to be unnecessary and messy. I learned the hard way that I was right.
I often remember our intimate moments together, the way we shared ourselves completely I feel as if that time has permanently linked our souls. I never opened myself up to anyone like that, and I hope I never have to do that again. I hope that you are the only one who knows each and every one of my secrets and fears, I hope that no one else hears my voice telling them that I love them when I first wake up or that I fall asleep in almost every movie theater. I hope that no one knows that you twitch when you sleep. I hope that no one comes to know the sound you make when a certain spot on your neck is kissed or that you might be the perfect man.
I miss you, whenever something funny happens you’re the person I want to tell. I want to make dinner for you and buy birthday cake ice cream because I saw it in the store and remembered it is your favorite. I want to fight with you, and explain, in depth, why the blue is better than the pink. I want to pretend to be interested in your video games and kiss you goodnight every single night. You and I shared something wonderful and I never want to forget that. You are truly one of a kind.
You’re thoughtful and honest, a true girl, but more than that you are the first women I ever truly loved and no matter what the future brings, you always will be, and I know that my life is better for it.
I love you, always.
I loved you because you observed me as no one has, in my silence, you captured my habits, and quirks and still loved me. Last summer meant so much to me. More than you can ever imagine. And when you left I was a wreck. The letters I sent I tried to seem okay but I wasn't, I cried every night and every day I would wait for you to come back. In our time together you claimed a special place in my heart, one I’ll carry with me forever and that no one can replace. I believe that memories can have a physical almost living presence, and the times we shared are the best I've got. When I close my eyes I can see your face, when I walk it’s almost as if I can feel your hand in mine. Those things are still real to me, but where they once brought comfort, now they leave me with an ache. I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you. Every time I saw someone with a crew cut, I’d feel my heart start beating faster, I knew it wasn't you but I wanted it to be you.
I fell in love you when we were together, I fell more in love with you when we were apart. I think that is dumb of me to say because while I was falling you were being hardened, trained, and sculpted into a person that I didn’t know. But I guess if you love deeply, you’re going to get hurt badly but it’s still worth it.
I never planned on falling in love with you, and in a different way your family, I always thought it to be unnecessary and messy. I learned the hard way that I was right.
I often remember our intimate moments together, the way we shared ourselves completely I feel as if that time has permanently linked our souls. I never opened myself up to anyone like that, and I hope I never have to do that again. I hope that you are the only one who knows each and every one of my secrets and fears, I hope that no one else hears my voice telling them that I love them when I first wake up or that I fall asleep in almost every movie theater. I hope that no one knows that you twitch when you sleep. I hope that no one comes to know the sound you make when a certain spot on your neck is kissed or that you might be the perfect man.
I miss you, whenever something funny happens you’re the person I want to tell. I want to make dinner for you and buy birthday cake ice cream because I saw it in the store and remembered it is your favorite. I want to fight with you, and explain, in depth, why the blue is better than the pink. I want to pretend to be interested in your video games and kiss you goodnight every single night. You and I shared something wonderful and I never want to forget that. You are truly one of a kind.
You’re thoughtful and honest, a true girl, but more than that you are the first women I ever truly loved and no matter what the future brings, you always will be, and I know that my life is better for it.
I love you, always.
At night my mind says...Let’s sleep
My heart says...What you'll dream
That’s when my eyes tell....every time you weep.
The last song played on my cell phone
Was once dedicated to her
That’s when its lyrics tell...
She might have forgotten them.
I turned to the other side of the sleeping seat
Facing the window
That’s when light passing through it tells...a ray
of hope that you might meet..
In the darkest of
night…When you held my hand &
Told “don’t fear”
That’s when the touch of my own hand tells…
No one is here.
It was the silliest joke you cracked in the middle of
the night
And I smiled.
That’s when the silence tells…
let the past behind & walk a mile.
I toss n turn with thoughts & possibilities…
To be together & forever
That’s when dawn breaks and tells…
This is life…try to live happily ever.
I never knew a broken heart could keep on breaking.
You keep on sending your love but no ones there to take it.
Rivers of tears keep a steady flow…
But no ones there to know.
It’s you, you who I want to know.
You who I want to see…
All of what I think and feel, It’s you I want here with me.
Not a day goes by without wishing for a hug a kiss, a laugh, a cry…
For soothing hurts, tucking you into bed, or just a simple touch.
Not a night goes by I don’t miss you so…. Much!!!
Or my heart doesn't break just a lil’ bit more.
Shards turned to ice constantly falling to the floor.
I don’t believe in god, but still I pray.
That some how some day
You’ll be back in my life
For always and forever
And I’ll never let you go again
Never!!!
it was mid night ...the most awaited day of the month or you can say day of LOVE just started...
it was already 1 and still she haven't called...
i know she is at her home and sleeps with her parentz..
i understand i always do but some time its just the emotion which matter ...but i love her to much and i didn't wanted to get upset..
i was just listening to our favorite songs...
ya i had a separate collection with folder name "our songs"
finally it was 2 and my eyes were burning thought i ll sleep just when i shut downed all application and went to sleep it was hardly 10 mins when my phone vibrated without looking at the screen i received..
she:hey beautiful i am so sorry for making you wait so long...
i was in sleep ...and she was hardly whispering i couldn't hear her clearly...
me:its fine..i wish we could meet today but i understand you have function to attend so yu went home ..
she:ya and sorry for calling yu so late..actually dad was not feeling well so he couldnt sleep finally he slept but i didn't wanted to take risk..
so i came to bathroom to talk to yu..
though i was in sleep i smiled that she went to washroom just to talk with me...we were talking about lot of stuff and few time she said what she wanted to do if she was around...
we talked for long hours but i was so tired ..but i knew tomorrow she ll be busy with function so she wont talk... my eyes were getting closed due to burning...while talking i said
me:baby i love you please dont ever leave me and please dont end the call or else i ll feel as if yu just left..
she:no jaan i wont leave just close your eyes....and think
i am sleeping right next yu , your head resting on my chest ..my one hand around your waist pulling you little more close and one hand caressing your cheeks...gave you kiss on your forehead...
i smiled once again actually blushed...
at around 5 in morning i was feeling cold so i woke up and noticed my phone was still on my ear..i checked the screen and call was still there and i said hello??
she instantly replied jaan what happened you woke up??had bad dream??i could sense worry in her voice...
me:no i was feeling cold so got up...and are you mad i mean who keeps the phone on hold for so long you should have slept na..and i am so sorry but i was so tired i just slept....
she:jaan its ohk and how can i leave you when you are sleeping in my arm how can i leave you alone ..what if you get scared and spoil your sleep...
i didnt get words to reply i just blushed once again...
me:jaan please sleep now....you might be tired we will talk in noon just make sure you complete your sleep..
she:baby just by starting the day by listening to your voice make me forget all my tiredness...
i wish she was around i would have given her the tightest hug ever possible...
and this was the best Valentine gift i ever got...i realized what i mean to her...i mean this is 21st century who stay awake in washroom just cause they are part of some imagination...and i felt blessed to have her....:D
it was already 1 and still she haven't called...
i know she is at her home and sleeps with her parentz..
i understand i always do but some time its just the emotion which matter ...but i love her to much and i didn't wanted to get upset..
i was just listening to our favorite songs...
ya i had a separate collection with folder name "our songs"
finally it was 2 and my eyes were burning thought i ll sleep just when i shut downed all application and went to sleep it was hardly 10 mins when my phone vibrated without looking at the screen i received..
she:hey beautiful i am so sorry for making you wait so long...
i was in sleep ...and she was hardly whispering i couldn't hear her clearly...
me:its fine..i wish we could meet today but i understand you have function to attend so yu went home ..
she:ya and sorry for calling yu so late..actually dad was not feeling well so he couldnt sleep finally he slept but i didn't wanted to take risk..
so i came to bathroom to talk to yu..
though i was in sleep i smiled that she went to washroom just to talk with me...we were talking about lot of stuff and few time she said what she wanted to do if she was around...
we talked for long hours but i was so tired ..but i knew tomorrow she ll be busy with function so she wont talk... my eyes were getting closed due to burning...while talking i said
me:baby i love you please dont ever leave me and please dont end the call or else i ll feel as if yu just left..
she:no jaan i wont leave just close your eyes....and think
i am sleeping right next yu , your head resting on my chest ..my one hand around your waist pulling you little more close and one hand caressing your cheeks...gave you kiss on your forehead...
i smiled once again actually blushed...
at around 5 in morning i was feeling cold so i woke up and noticed my phone was still on my ear..i checked the screen and call was still there and i said hello??
she instantly replied jaan what happened you woke up??had bad dream??i could sense worry in her voice...
me:no i was feeling cold so got up...and are you mad i mean who keeps the phone on hold for so long you should have slept na..and i am so sorry but i was so tired i just slept....
she:jaan its ohk and how can i leave you when you are sleeping in my arm how can i leave you alone ..what if you get scared and spoil your sleep...
i didnt get words to reply i just blushed once again...
me:jaan please sleep now....you might be tired we will talk in noon just make sure you complete your sleep..
she:baby just by starting the day by listening to your voice make me forget all my tiredness...
i wish she was around i would have given her the tightest hug ever possible...
and this was the best Valentine gift i ever got...i realized what i mean to her...i mean this is 21st century who stay awake in washroom just cause they are part of some imagination...and i felt blessed to have her....:D
Dear Heart..itz been almost 2 yearz since we into a relationship…time actually fliez…isn’t it…?? Seemz like yesterday when we met eachother for the first time…when we became “KNOWNZ” from “UNKNOWNZ”…seemz like yesterday when I proposed me n SHE hapily said a big “YES”…seemz like yesterday when we went on our first date…when we first time hugged eachother…kissed <juz kissed> eachother…when we first time felt that “AMAZING BOND” and that “SPECIAL TUNING” which we never ever felt earlier…when we felt that beautiful essence n that passion among eachother…may be that waz the time we were crazily into eachother…may be it waz “LOVE”…”FIRST LOVE” actually…true n pure…”UNCONDITIONAL” infact…!! ♥
But now when I see myself n her…I personally feel that we are “CHANGED”…not only “HER” but me “MYSELF” as well…I am not saying that we both don’t love eachother now…ofcourse we do…thatz why we are together presently…but now we both have got someother prioritiez as well in our life…say for instance our “FAMILY”…our “CAREER”…our “PEER GROUP”…our “INDIVIDUAL GOALZ”…earlier we both were just madly into eachother may be thatz why we neglected all other thingz…but as they say “TIME CHANGEZ AND SO DOES ONE’Z PRIORITIEZ”…may be thatz why we both are “CHANGED” now…itz not that we both aren’t eachother’z prioritiez now…itz just that we both aren’t eachother’z “ONLY PRIORITY” now…!! ♥
At timez I wonder that is this so called “CHANGE” good..?? Is it actually a positive thing..?? Did we both change “INTENSIONALLY”…?? Or waz it the situation and demand that made this “CHANGE” a “NECESSITY” for both of us…?? Well the answer to these questionz actually dependz on individual to individual but I know diary what I feel…?? I feel we both changed coz of the prevailing “CIRCUMSTANCEZ”…coz life is like a river…it just keepz on flowing with time…it keepz moving…it keepz changing…life can never be still so how can “WE” be still then…?? Even we will change…so all I want to say is “CHANGE IS A NECESSITY WHICH AT TIMEZ IS INTENSIONAL” so try and take it in a positive way and cope up with it in a positive manner coz “LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MOVING AHEAD…NOW ITZ UPTO U…U WANNA STAY AND SUFFER OR MOVE AND CHANGE WITH IT AND ENJOY”…!! ♥
“My dear…
I’m not a hero of any kind. I won’t turn your eyes golden or teach you how to fly.
Sometimes I wonder if you can see I’m just as needy as you are.
You say there is no one who could hold you like I do. But imagine if other arms felt warmer, more soothing than mine. Would you leave?
I’m not the boy your dad would like. With just one look at me standing close to you, I’d snatch away his pride.
So girl…why?
Imagine the moon having a voice, you think it would sound gentle when we drift by at night?
Ask my tears how many times they've seen me cry.
I tell myself it won’t hurt as much to let you go now then it would tomorrow. But I’ve written this letter over a hundred times.
Words fall from my hands like fallen angels from the sky. I can’t make them come true, I can’t leave you.
My deepest fear is to make you understand how exceptional you are, because you would no longer stand by a man who is not even half as special as you are.
Nothing has scared me more than love. These doubts keep twisting around my heart.
I am the fallen to you, my angel.
I won’t send you this letter baby, I won’t upset you now you’re still here
But when you would ever leave…I’ll give you my pile of letters and then you’ll see… I never took you you for granted and you’re the songs I sing.
Love you always.”
If I'd only known...
That this the last time we've met...
I would have stopped the break of dawn.
And stopped the sun to set..
If i'd only known...
That i wouldn't see you again...
I would have framed a picture of you within...
To end my suffering...to end my pain...
If i'd only known....
That this is the last time I sit by your side....
I would have told you how much I LOVED YOU....
Keeping rest things aside...
If I'd only known....
That we never hold hands again...
I would have held them strong...
N never let anything go wrong...
If I'd only known...
That you would stand always by my side....
I would have fought the world for you...
Breaking all the walls through...
If I'd only known...
That your love was true...
If I'd only known that you would come back soon...
I would have waited for you to come by....
I'f I only known any of this....
That you were what I was breathing for...
I would have breathed my last for you...
Seen you enough and bid you adieu...
While all I can do now...
Is sit here...
Waiting...
If I'd only known....
[The more of this or the less of this
Or is there any difference?
Or are we just holding onto things
we don't have anymore?
Sometimes time doesn't heal
No not at all
It just stands still
While we fall
In or out of love again I doubt I'm gonna
win you back
When you've got eyes like that
They won't let me in]
I know I'm holding onto you because I can't have you anymore.
I keep on seeing you with that guy and he's handsome. And you are happy.
I felt helpless and it hurt me. That's when I started to hurt myself.
I'm not sure if it made me feel any better. But it made me feel at all.
And that's not just a cliche. I saw your eyes and when they crossed mine that night
I was sure that you felt something. That way you looked away so quickly when
your girl appeared. It made me happy and empty at the same time.
Now that I can't have you anymore I remember all our words and conversations.
All that feelings that I destroyed so carefully because I just didn't want you.
I needed you. Maybe I needed that good feeling you gave me by taking me just
the way I was. I never gave back anything. Now I want to. So much time has passed
but I feel that I desperately want you to know that you meant something. Sometimes I feel
so stupid because I keep on struggling with that little story. But it makes me cry
so hard some nights, that it tells me that I've lost someone special. I've lost you.
I'm happy for you now, I want you to be happy. I'm sure that she makes you feel special
and that you make her feel special. And someday I will find someone that makes me
feel special again, too. Just the way you did.
Thank you.
