I'm scared! I'm so fucking scared! I think that I'm maybe love her, I really do! But I can’t, not her! I know that something is wrong, why is she so nice and perfect all the time! WHYY??!! And she is choosing me?! Come on man, there are so many studs out there, take THEM!! Not me…!!
This is making me so scared, because I know it can’t be true! I just know it! About two weeks from now she is coming to visit me (we live in two different cities), and I really really want her to come, but at the same time I really don’t. I know that I am going to say that I am sick so she can absolutely not come!! I know that I am going to do that! Do you want the reason? I always do that, when I like someone I run!! Because running is so much easier that stay! Now I think I decided not to run, but I don’t now if I can do that because I am scared as hell!! I scared that she is like all the others girls… okay, it’s not like I had 20 girlfriends… actually it’s more like one… or can I say .5…?
I just don’t know what to do! I am so confused! I want to love her but I can’t because everything I see is perfection, and no one is perfect! I know that! I have all these feelings inside of me, and I can’t tell her.. I just can’t!! Sometimes when we talk, I just want her to know everything! I mean, we have been friends for 1,5 years now, and I wrote in a text (when I was out with my friends—to drunk for my own best..xD ) that I think I like her more than a friend.. the next day I got a text back… I felt the same way!! Still, I am here in my room, can’t study to a big finale because I am thinking of all this while I receive so cute and wonderful texts from her all the time…! My friends are telling me to chill out! Wait until she comes! But that is the problem!! I know I am going to fix so she’s not coming!
I hate to run! But I hate to stay too! For now, I hate to be in love…! I just hate it so much! And the worst part is that I don’t think I am going to change my mind! Because it is so much easier to run! And do you know what? I love to run! Run is my love! Forever!!!
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